turning point

you know that moment of clarity when all of a sudden shit starts to make sense and you realize the choices you've made have all been for a reason? and that reason becomes so apparent that it's almost blinding? yeah- recently i had that moment.
for so long, i felt misunderstood and trapped in my mind. i told myself that people likely don't understand me. they probably have this idea of who i am, but they really don't have any clue. i figured anyone who cared enough would try to pick my brain and try to figure it out, when even i couldn't. i was stupid. i was lost. i was depressed.
and then one day i wasn't.
it's actually quite weird. i can't tell you why, or what the catalyst was. i just woke up one day and decided to change my attitude. no longer would i make excuses for myself or play the victim. i am not a victim to anyone but myself.
so, i changed my way of thinking. i told myself over and over again that my thoughts will directly affect my mood. and if i wanted to be happy , then i had to think happy thoughts. so i did.
and i am.

because there is no one to blame for the past. the mistakes i've made were lessons. the choices i made were exactly what i wanted at the time. no one is going to go out of their way to make my life better/easier/worthwhile.

"if life sucks, it's because you suck at life."

xx

jenn