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You know how I mentioned things are getting better?

I’ve decided to return to school and become a registered nurse. It just makes sense and will multiply my income substantially. I love my job, but it just doesn’t pay enough to survive in a one income household.

I have 9 classes to take before I plan to apply for the nursing program, and after that I will have only the nursing classes to finish. So, in about 3 years I will finally be complete.

I love school. I love learning. I am not sure how easy it will be with working full time, but I am going to try really hard to at least work full time until I start the nursing program, then I will likely need to devote my time only to school-but only time will tell. Maybe by then I will find a part time job and be able to do both.

I am really excited for this. It’s definitely something I have wanted to do, even if I didn’t realize it until now. Classes start September 26—my birthday. My golden birthday. Chemistry and Psychology are first on the list.

okay

I honestly thought things were going to get worse before they got better.
I was wrong.
Sometimes, things do go right. And sometimes it makes all the difference in the world.
Last week I felt the weight of the world on my back and wasn’t sure how I would overcome the obstacles I have had in front of me.
This week?
I have a new outlook. Things are getting better. One by one. My worries are still real, and my anxiety still has a big grasp on my mind, but the fear of losing the first level of Maslow’s hierarchy are no longer on my radar.
I can actually worry more about the higher up needs again. I can be a real person and not a walking mess.
It feels really good and I am now able to take a deep breath and count my blessings.
We will be ok.

when it rains, it pours

It’s the pit in your stomach when you come home from a long day at work and realize that everything you’re working so hard for is not materializing. With the flick of a switch and no results, your heart drops to your feet and tears stream. It’s knowing that your best isn’t good enough.

I’ve been without a telephone now for about a month. It’s an interesting, disconnecting feeling. For the most part, it hasn’t been a big deal, but every now and again when I am running late to the sitter or to work I realize just how handy having a working cell phone would be.

Electricity is a whole ‘nother territory. I realized the only thing I really missed was a hot shower and a working fridge. Everything else, I could do without. Milk doesn’t do well without a cold fridge, and I certainly can’t afford buying milk by the carton. Water? Became our best friend.
We were camping. In our comfy beds, in our comfy home—but we were camping by any other sense of the word.

Luckily, I was able to take a day off of work and stand in line with some other really kind hearted people and receive assistance in getting my electricity paid for. Truly humbling. After 3 full, long days I was able to have my electricity restored, as well as my dignity.

It’s just what you do. You make the best of the situation you’re dealt with. As shitty as it may be, and as emotional and upset it may make you, you get over it and you deal. And that’s what I am doing. I am looking ahead to better days and blue skies and not letting these minor(because really, we are healthy and we are loved and that’s more important) hurdles decapitate my life and the life that I have created.