The first thing most parents will tell you when you announce that you're expecting is typically to rest up while you can. Most people know they should, but never really take full advantage of it for one reason or another.
After Ava was born I was extremely lucky. Starting at about 3 weeks she decided she loved her beauty rest, and would sleep from 8-5, and soon after started sleeping for a good 12 hours, 8-8, daily. This never really stopped all throughout teething and growth spurts and the like. Talk about lucky!! I knew that any kid I had after her would just not be the same. There was no way lightening was going to strike in the same spot more than once with this.
In comes Nathan. From the beginning, he has slept great at night-- while waking every 3 hours to eat. Every three hours. I can pretty much count on it.
So, here we are, at 4 months now. He is still waking every 3 hours to eat. I knew this was going to happen, and oddly enough I am ok with it. I feel rested (most of the time), and he typically nurses right back to sleep. Every now and again I will get the magical 4 or 5 hour stretch, but I don't count on them.
I am unsure if there is any correlation between the fact that Nathan is exclusively breastfed still and Ava was not. I am inclined to believe that that did play at least some role in it. I am thinking about introducing some rice cereal into his diet as an evening meal. Perhaps it will fill his tummy a bit more and he will nurse less? I don't count on it. But it would be nice.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
Sunday, August 15, 2010
these brighten my day
When things are totally overwhelming, and I just don't know if I have the energy to push on- all I have to do is look at my inspiration. My life, my loves.
I honestly didn't realize just how much I need these moments. They keep me connected, sane, and in absolute bliss. I miss this so much when I am away and at work or school. Pumping is terrible and I would be thrilled if I never had to do it again.
I have been completely overwhelmed lately. I am completely exhausted from training at my new job. I will be done soon, though, and will be able to get into a lesser schedule. I cannot wait because these 9-10 hour days on my feet in the extreme heat is really taking a toll on me. It hit the 100 degree mark out at my work. Is it fall yet? I love fall.
I honestly didn't realize just how much I need these moments. They keep me connected, sane, and in absolute bliss. I miss this so much when I am away and at work or school. Pumping is terrible and I would be thrilled if I never had to do it again.
I have been completely overwhelmed lately. I am completely exhausted from training at my new job. I will be done soon, though, and will be able to get into a lesser schedule. I cannot wait because these 9-10 hour days on my feet in the extreme heat is really taking a toll on me. It hit the 100 degree mark out at my work. Is it fall yet? I love fall.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Why Breastmilk isn't just food
By Dr. Thomas
What is a normal, term human infant supposed to do?
First of all, a human baby is supposed to be born vaginally. Yes, I know that doesn't always happen, but we're just going to talk ideal, normal for now. We are supposed to be born vaginally because we need good bacteria. Human babies are sterile, without bacteria, at birth. It's no accident that we are born near the anus, an area that has lots of bacteria, most of which are good and necessary for normal gut health and development of the immune system. And the bacteria that are there are mom's bacteria, bacteria that she can provide antibodies against if the bacteria there aren't nice.
Then the baby is born and is supposed to go to mom. Right to her chest. The chest, right in between the breasts is the natural habitat of the newborn baby. (Fun factoid: our cardiac output, how much blood we circulate in a given minute, is distributed to places that are important. Lots goes to the kidney every minute, like 10% or so, and 20% goes to your brain. In a new mom, 23% goes to her chest- more than her brain. The body thinks that place is important!)
That chest area gives heat. The baby has been using mom's body for temperature regulation for ages. Why would they stop? With all that blood flow, it's going to be warm. The baby can use mom to get warm. When I was in my residency, we would put a cold baby "under the warmer" which meant a heater thingy next to mom. Now, as I have matured, if a baby is "under the warmer," the kid is under mom. I wouldn't like that. I like the kids on top of mom, snuggled.
Now we have a brand new baby on the warmer. That child is not hungry. Bringing a hungry baby into the world is a bad plan. And really, if they were hungry, can you please explain to me why my kids sucked the life force out of me in those last few weeks of pregnancy? They better have been getting food, or well, that would have been annoying and painful for nothing.
Every species has instinctual behaviors that allow the little ones to grow up to be big ones and keep the species going. Our kids are born into the world needing protection. Protection from disease and from predators. Yes, predators. Our kids don't know they've been born into a loving family in the 21st century- for all they know it's the 2nd century and they are in a cave surrounded by tigers. Our instinctive behaviors as baby humans need to help us stay protected. Babies get both disease protection and tiger protection from being on mom's chest. Presumably, we gave the baby some good bacteria when they arrived through the birth canal. That's the first step in disease protection. The next step is getting colostrum.
A newborn baby on mom's chest will pick their head up, lick their hands, maybe nuzzle mom, lick their hands and start to slide towards the breast. The kids have a preference for contrasts between light and dark, and for circles over other shapes. Think about that...there's a dark circle not too far away.
Mom's sweat smells like amniotic fluid, and that smell is on the child's hands (because there's been no bath yet!) and the baby uses that taste on their hand to follow mom's smell. The secretions coming from the glands on the areola (that dark circle) smell familiar too and help the baby get to the breast to get the colostrum which is going to feed the good bacteria and keep them protected from infection. The kids can attach by themselves. Watch for yourself! And if you just need colostrum to feed bacteria and not yourself, well, there doesn't have to be much. And there isn't because the kids aren't hungry and because Breastmilk is not food!
We're talking normal babies. Breastfeeding is normal. It's what babies are hardwired to do. 2009 or 209, the kids would all do the same thing: try to find the breast. Breastfeeding isn't special sauce, a leg up or a magic potion. It's not "best. " It's normal. Just normal. Designed for the needs of a vulnerable human infant. And nothing else designed to replace it is normal.
Colostrum also activates things in the baby's gut that then goes on to make the thymus grow. The thymus is part of the immune system. Growing your thymus is important. Breastmilk= big thymus, good immune system. Colostrum also has a bunch of something called Secretory Immunoglobulin A (SIgA). SIgA is made in the first few days of life and is infection protection specifically from mom. Cells in mom's gut watch what's coming through and if there's an infectious cell, a special cell in mom's gut called a plasma cell heads to the breast and helps the breast make SIgA in the milk to protect the baby. If mom and baby are together, like on mom's chest, then the baby is protected from what the two of them may be exposed to. Babies should be with mom.
And the tigers. What about them? Define "tiger" however you want. But if you are baby with no skills in self-protection, staying with mom, having a grasp reflex, and a startle reflex that helps you grab onto your mom, especially if she's hairy, makes sense. Babies know the difference between a bassinette and a human chest. When infants are separated from their mothers, they have a "despair- withdrawal" response. The despair part comes when they alone, separated. The kids are vocally expressing their desire not to be tiger food. When they are picked up, they stop crying. They are protected, warm and safe. If that despair cry is not answered, they withdraw. They get cold, have massive amounts of stress hormones released, drop their heart rate and get quiet. That's not a good baby. That's one who, well, is beyond despair. Normal babies want to be held, all the time.
And when do tigers hunt? At night. It makes no sense at all for our kids to sleep at night. They may be eaten. There's nothing really all that great about kids sleeping through the night. They should wake up and find their body guard. Daytime, well, not so many threats. They sleep better during the day. (Think about our response to our tigers-- sleep problems are a huge part of stress, depression, anxiety).
And sleep... My guess is everybody sleeps with their kids- whether they choose to or not and whether they admit to it or not. It's silly of us as healthcare providers to say "don't sleep with your baby" because we all do it. Sometimes accidentally. Sometimes intentionally. The kids are snuggly, it feels right and you are tired. So, normal babies breastfeed, stay at the breast, want to be held and sleep better when they are with their parents. Seems normal to me. But there is a difference between a normal baby and one that isn't. Safe sleep means that we are sober, in bed and not a couch or a recliner, breastfeeding, not smoking...being normal. If the circumstances are not normal, then sleeping with the baby is not safe.
That chest -to -chest contact is also brain development. Our kids had as many brain cells as they were ever going to have at 28 weeks of gestation. It's a jungle of waiting -to-be- connected cells. What we do as humans is create too much and then get rid of what we aren't using. We have like 8 nipples, a tail and webbed hands in the womb. If all goes well, we don't have those at birth. Create too much- get rid of what you aren't using. So, as you are snuggling, your child is hooking up happy brain cells and hopefully getting rid of the "eeeek" brain cells. Breastfeeding, skin-to-skin, is brain wiring. Not food.
Why go on and on about this? Because more and more mothers are choosing to breastfeed. But most women don't believe that the body that created that beautiful baby is capable of feeding that same child and we are supplementing more and more with infant formulas designed to be food. Why don't we trust our bodies post-partum? I don't know. But I hear over and over that the formula is because "I am just not satisfying him." Of course you are. Babies don't need to "eat" all the time- they need to be with you all the time- that's the ultimate satisfaction.
A baby at the breast is getting their immune system developed, activating their thymus, staying warm, feeling safe from predators, having normal sleep patterns and wiring their brain, and (oh by the way) getting some food in the process. They are not "hungry" --they are obeying instinct. The instinct that allows us to survive and make more of us.
What is a normal, term human infant supposed to do?
First of all, a human baby is supposed to be born vaginally. Yes, I know that doesn't always happen, but we're just going to talk ideal, normal for now. We are supposed to be born vaginally because we need good bacteria. Human babies are sterile, without bacteria, at birth. It's no accident that we are born near the anus, an area that has lots of bacteria, most of which are good and necessary for normal gut health and development of the immune system. And the bacteria that are there are mom's bacteria, bacteria that she can provide antibodies against if the bacteria there aren't nice.
Then the baby is born and is supposed to go to mom. Right to her chest. The chest, right in between the breasts is the natural habitat of the newborn baby. (Fun factoid: our cardiac output, how much blood we circulate in a given minute, is distributed to places that are important. Lots goes to the kidney every minute, like 10% or so, and 20% goes to your brain. In a new mom, 23% goes to her chest- more than her brain. The body thinks that place is important!)
That chest area gives heat. The baby has been using mom's body for temperature regulation for ages. Why would they stop? With all that blood flow, it's going to be warm. The baby can use mom to get warm. When I was in my residency, we would put a cold baby "under the warmer" which meant a heater thingy next to mom. Now, as I have matured, if a baby is "under the warmer," the kid is under mom. I wouldn't like that. I like the kids on top of mom, snuggled.
Now we have a brand new baby on the warmer. That child is not hungry. Bringing a hungry baby into the world is a bad plan. And really, if they were hungry, can you please explain to me why my kids sucked the life force out of me in those last few weeks of pregnancy? They better have been getting food, or well, that would have been annoying and painful for nothing.
Every species has instinctual behaviors that allow the little ones to grow up to be big ones and keep the species going. Our kids are born into the world needing protection. Protection from disease and from predators. Yes, predators. Our kids don't know they've been born into a loving family in the 21st century- for all they know it's the 2nd century and they are in a cave surrounded by tigers. Our instinctive behaviors as baby humans need to help us stay protected. Babies get both disease protection and tiger protection from being on mom's chest. Presumably, we gave the baby some good bacteria when they arrived through the birth canal. That's the first step in disease protection. The next step is getting colostrum.
A newborn baby on mom's chest will pick their head up, lick their hands, maybe nuzzle mom, lick their hands and start to slide towards the breast. The kids have a preference for contrasts between light and dark, and for circles over other shapes. Think about that...there's a dark circle not too far away.
Mom's sweat smells like amniotic fluid, and that smell is on the child's hands (because there's been no bath yet!) and the baby uses that taste on their hand to follow mom's smell. The secretions coming from the glands on the areola (that dark circle) smell familiar too and help the baby get to the breast to get the colostrum which is going to feed the good bacteria and keep them protected from infection. The kids can attach by themselves. Watch for yourself! And if you just need colostrum to feed bacteria and not yourself, well, there doesn't have to be much. And there isn't because the kids aren't hungry and because Breastmilk is not food!
We're talking normal babies. Breastfeeding is normal. It's what babies are hardwired to do. 2009 or 209, the kids would all do the same thing: try to find the breast. Breastfeeding isn't special sauce, a leg up or a magic potion. It's not "best. " It's normal. Just normal. Designed for the needs of a vulnerable human infant. And nothing else designed to replace it is normal.
Colostrum also activates things in the baby's gut that then goes on to make the thymus grow. The thymus is part of the immune system. Growing your thymus is important. Breastmilk= big thymus, good immune system. Colostrum also has a bunch of something called Secretory Immunoglobulin A (SIgA). SIgA is made in the first few days of life and is infection protection specifically from mom. Cells in mom's gut watch what's coming through and if there's an infectious cell, a special cell in mom's gut called a plasma cell heads to the breast and helps the breast make SIgA in the milk to protect the baby. If mom and baby are together, like on mom's chest, then the baby is protected from what the two of them may be exposed to. Babies should be with mom.
And the tigers. What about them? Define "tiger" however you want. But if you are baby with no skills in self-protection, staying with mom, having a grasp reflex, and a startle reflex that helps you grab onto your mom, especially if she's hairy, makes sense. Babies know the difference between a bassinette and a human chest. When infants are separated from their mothers, they have a "despair- withdrawal" response. The despair part comes when they alone, separated. The kids are vocally expressing their desire not to be tiger food. When they are picked up, they stop crying. They are protected, warm and safe. If that despair cry is not answered, they withdraw. They get cold, have massive amounts of stress hormones released, drop their heart rate and get quiet. That's not a good baby. That's one who, well, is beyond despair. Normal babies want to be held, all the time.
And when do tigers hunt? At night. It makes no sense at all for our kids to sleep at night. They may be eaten. There's nothing really all that great about kids sleeping through the night. They should wake up and find their body guard. Daytime, well, not so many threats. They sleep better during the day. (Think about our response to our tigers-- sleep problems are a huge part of stress, depression, anxiety).
And sleep... My guess is everybody sleeps with their kids- whether they choose to or not and whether they admit to it or not. It's silly of us as healthcare providers to say "don't sleep with your baby" because we all do it. Sometimes accidentally. Sometimes intentionally. The kids are snuggly, it feels right and you are tired. So, normal babies breastfeed, stay at the breast, want to be held and sleep better when they are with their parents. Seems normal to me. But there is a difference between a normal baby and one that isn't. Safe sleep means that we are sober, in bed and not a couch or a recliner, breastfeeding, not smoking...being normal. If the circumstances are not normal, then sleeping with the baby is not safe.
That chest -to -chest contact is also brain development. Our kids had as many brain cells as they were ever going to have at 28 weeks of gestation. It's a jungle of waiting -to-be- connected cells. What we do as humans is create too much and then get rid of what we aren't using. We have like 8 nipples, a tail and webbed hands in the womb. If all goes well, we don't have those at birth. Create too much- get rid of what you aren't using. So, as you are snuggling, your child is hooking up happy brain cells and hopefully getting rid of the "eeeek" brain cells. Breastfeeding, skin-to-skin, is brain wiring. Not food.
Why go on and on about this? Because more and more mothers are choosing to breastfeed. But most women don't believe that the body that created that beautiful baby is capable of feeding that same child and we are supplementing more and more with infant formulas designed to be food. Why don't we trust our bodies post-partum? I don't know. But I hear over and over that the formula is because "I am just not satisfying him." Of course you are. Babies don't need to "eat" all the time- they need to be with you all the time- that's the ultimate satisfaction.
A baby at the breast is getting their immune system developed, activating their thymus, staying warm, feeling safe from predators, having normal sleep patterns and wiring their brain, and (oh by the way) getting some food in the process. They are not "hungry" --they are obeying instinct. The instinct that allows us to survive and make more of us.
Friday, August 6, 2010
my experience with breastfeeding
The first decision I made when I found out I was growing a little human being inside of me was that I was going to feed him what nature intended. I was going to breastfeed no matter what it took. When I was pregnant with Ava I wanted to breastfeed, but I was not prepared for the work it took and fully intended to use formula as a back-up. I had cans of it ready to go by the time I was out of the hospital. Just in case.
Not surprisingly, I ended up using that formula. Being a single mother with little to no help, I was tired and in pain and I gave up. I gave up at 2 weeks and I was defeated. I felt like a failure. I was relieved. I felt a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders and at the same time I felt a tremendous amount of guilt. I don't have anything else to compare the feelings to because I have never felt such opposite feelings at the same time for the same reason.
Looking back, I don't feel guilty anymore. I did what I could with what I had and I did the best with what information was given to me. I can't say I regret it, but if I could go back, I totally would.
Once I became pregnant with my son I didn't have to think about what I would do. It was instinctive. I was not going to fail. I was not going to give myself the option. I made sure not to have any formula in my home in preparation for his arrival. I would not need it because my milk would be just fine for him. I figured, if I don't have an option, I won't be able to even think about giving up.
I was wrong. One bad latch early on and my nipple was cracked and sore and hurt so badly each time he latched on. So much so that my toes would curl up and my face would grimace in such a way that anyone around could see my discomfort. My back hurt. I hadn't found a comfortable way to sit so that my large chest would connect with his lips in such a way that he could latch correctly. He would nurse for 45 minutes at a time and I became tired. I was tired and weary and then my family flew home and I was alone. Except, I wasn't alone. i had my (almost) 3-year-old that wanted her momma back. She seemed to need something every time I sat to nurse her brother. I had to learn how to say no and how to deal with that guilt. A whole new guilt that I didn't quite expect to feel. I shed tears. I cried night after night and day after day. Some call it the baby blues, I call it realization. This was my new life.
I thought about giving up. When I felt so low that I wanted to drive to the store and pick up a can of formula I would call a friend or family member. They were quick to remind me why I was going through this pain and this guilt. I would somehow look deep inside of myself and find that resolve to go on. And I did.
I am so proud of myself that I am still- at three months- exclusively breastfeeding my son. I am proud because I know that it is what is best for him. I am happy because it's so easy. I love that I don't have to worry about bringing formula and bottles and water around everywhere we go (because we are always on the go). Sure, I really could do without pumping. I really hate that part. But, I am so content. I am content because I know that I am over the pain and the guilt. Ava understands now that I cannot help her when I am feeding her brother. I think she has even realized that she can get away with some things that she wouldn't get away with if I wasn't preoccupied, little stinker.
I think about the future and I don't know what to expect. I tell myself that I am going to breastfeed for as long as possible. I don't want to have to feed my son formula at all. But I also know that it's going to be hard. I have to go to school full-time, and I just started a new job that will have me working more, as well. I am nervous. I am unsure. But I was nervous and unsure in the beginning of this journey and look at where we are now!
I am so grateful. I am grateful that I have such an understanding, kind, patient, and loving daughter that I just know will forgive me for not being able to give her the same milk that her brother is getting. I am grateful that I live in a city that is so supportive of breastfeeding mothers and I don't feel ashamed of nursing in public. I am grateful that my country has laws that allow breastfeeding mothers the time to pump when they cannot be with their children, and I work in a workplace that is so understanding of this. I am grateful that I am able to give my son the nourishment that he is intended to receive.
Not surprisingly, I ended up using that formula. Being a single mother with little to no help, I was tired and in pain and I gave up. I gave up at 2 weeks and I was defeated. I felt like a failure. I was relieved. I felt a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders and at the same time I felt a tremendous amount of guilt. I don't have anything else to compare the feelings to because I have never felt such opposite feelings at the same time for the same reason.
Looking back, I don't feel guilty anymore. I did what I could with what I had and I did the best with what information was given to me. I can't say I regret it, but if I could go back, I totally would.
Once I became pregnant with my son I didn't have to think about what I would do. It was instinctive. I was not going to fail. I was not going to give myself the option. I made sure not to have any formula in my home in preparation for his arrival. I would not need it because my milk would be just fine for him. I figured, if I don't have an option, I won't be able to even think about giving up.
I was wrong. One bad latch early on and my nipple was cracked and sore and hurt so badly each time he latched on. So much so that my toes would curl up and my face would grimace in such a way that anyone around could see my discomfort. My back hurt. I hadn't found a comfortable way to sit so that my large chest would connect with his lips in such a way that he could latch correctly. He would nurse for 45 minutes at a time and I became tired. I was tired and weary and then my family flew home and I was alone. Except, I wasn't alone. i had my (almost) 3-year-old that wanted her momma back. She seemed to need something every time I sat to nurse her brother. I had to learn how to say no and how to deal with that guilt. A whole new guilt that I didn't quite expect to feel. I shed tears. I cried night after night and day after day. Some call it the baby blues, I call it realization. This was my new life.
I thought about giving up. When I felt so low that I wanted to drive to the store and pick up a can of formula I would call a friend or family member. They were quick to remind me why I was going through this pain and this guilt. I would somehow look deep inside of myself and find that resolve to go on. And I did.
I am so proud of myself that I am still- at three months- exclusively breastfeeding my son. I am proud because I know that it is what is best for him. I am happy because it's so easy. I love that I don't have to worry about bringing formula and bottles and water around everywhere we go (because we are always on the go). Sure, I really could do without pumping. I really hate that part. But, I am so content. I am content because I know that I am over the pain and the guilt. Ava understands now that I cannot help her when I am feeding her brother. I think she has even realized that she can get away with some things that she wouldn't get away with if I wasn't preoccupied, little stinker.
I think about the future and I don't know what to expect. I tell myself that I am going to breastfeed for as long as possible. I don't want to have to feed my son formula at all. But I also know that it's going to be hard. I have to go to school full-time, and I just started a new job that will have me working more, as well. I am nervous. I am unsure. But I was nervous and unsure in the beginning of this journey and look at where we are now!
I am so grateful. I am grateful that I have such an understanding, kind, patient, and loving daughter that I just know will forgive me for not being able to give her the same milk that her brother is getting. I am grateful that I live in a city that is so supportive of breastfeeding mothers and I don't feel ashamed of nursing in public. I am grateful that my country has laws that allow breastfeeding mothers the time to pump when they cannot be with their children, and I work in a workplace that is so understanding of this. I am grateful that I am able to give my son the nourishment that he is intended to receive.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
no miracle here
Before breastfeeding I had been told all about the great perks of it. One of those was the great weightloss stemming from it.
Ummmm.. my body has definitely not gotten that memo. What's the deal? I haven't lost any more weight since my swelling went down post-birth. If we're being honest, I think I have actually gained a bit.
These pregnancy cravings are INTENSE. All I ever want are sweets and chocolate. Like, hardcore. I don't even like chocolate!
Granted, I am merely 3 months post-partum, but isn't this miracle weightloss supposed to happen already? Am I expecting too much or am I just not going to reap this benefit?
On the same note, I have decided to purchase a bicycle. I am really excited about it because I have wanted one for SO long. I was going to get a double jogger (Phil & Ted), but I think I decided to just invest in one of the bicycle trailer/jogging stroller contraptions. Right now I am looking at the Chariot Cougar II. It's the only one I have found that looks like it would be a decent jogger. I still want to see it in person first, though. I am afraid that it will be massive and impossible to push on sidewalks and whatnot.
The countdown to the gym is on! Only 3 months (about) before Nathan is old enough to join 24 Hour Fitness so I can get my real workout on. I cannot even begin to describe the anticipation I feel.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
a day of birthdays
My father turns 50 tomorrow and my sister turns seven next week. They had a joint birthday party today. It was so much fun and so exhausting! They really put a lot of effort into the party and it paid off. Ava had a great time playing in the water with her aunt and all the other kiddos and Nathan did awesome hanging out in the ergo with momma. I fell in love with the park it was at. So much, that I decided to hold Ava's third birthday party at the same one at the end of the month. I can't wait!
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